Like all fads, positivity is one too these days. Open your messaging apps, you're flooded with them or look at your social media accounts, you're drowning in them. But are the ones always preaching really positive?
I have been going through the worst phase of my life since the past five years. Otherwise known to be a social person, I started going into a shell thanks to pseudo positivity. Imagine when you're losing your father to cancer, you're being told, "people have it worse" or when you've become bankrupt, someone telling you "to look on the bright side". No! That's not positivity. That's called lack of empathy.
I'm well aware of the benefits of optimism. If I weren't, I wouldn't have been able to keep the fight on. I have witnessed how my father fought the pains of cancer and survived each day of the death sentence with a smile on his face. Only I know how I cut corners to keep myself afloat after restarting my life from ground zero. And l do it with a smile on. So of course I believe I'll overcome it all. I'm determined to win back everything except not my father who we have lost forever. In my opinion, I'm a positive person.
Offering positive advice also has a right time. If you aren't acknowledging someone's emotion or helping someone process the feelings they're going through, you'll come across as pseudo positive. Maybe all the person sharing with you is looking for a sincere listener. It is among the hardest thing to do to just sit with the distressed person and let him know that you are there to share the burden of the mind numbing thoughts. After all, it's impossible for you to understand the amount of pain that the other person is going through because you haven't been in that place!
Pessimism on the other hand is a different ball game altogether! I'm not advocating that at any cost. I myself have never blamed my luck or felt like giving up at any given moment.
All I'm requesting all the run of the mill positive message influenced people, that when someone who is going through extreme distress has chosen to share her/his story in confidence, don't try to solve anything. Just be a genuine listener. Assure the person that s/he can be vulnerable in front of you and you'll protect them no matter what. That's all that is required instead of a rehashed "be positive".
