Saturday, April 19, 2014

A twisted take on Heartbreak!

Heartbreaks are awful! No one writes about them. That’s not entirely true. I take that back. A lot do but only to emphasise on the contrasting feelings associated with love. We read about the stinging pain that is often associated with that dreaded word, heartbreak. But have you ever thought about the good that comes out of it? Raising your eyebrows? Yes, I just said that. And I’m not talking the heartbreaks make you wise kind of thing. So I decided to share my observation. This is of course a humorous take on heartbreaks, from a strictly female perspective and not with an intention of making light of anyone’s anguish. Please read only if you’re in the mood for a chuckle.
Losing track of time and the world around is the most common occurrence when in love. The first realisation that makes a girl hit the panic button (more than the agony of accepting that the relationship is over} is that she has lost touch with all her friends. She scrolls up and down her contact list only to wonder who to begin with. But girls are inherently forgiving. Also everyone has been there done that. So the moment you hear your friend’s teary voice you know the drill. You prioritise her heartbreak. So you set everything aside and let your friend share her story. Once the initial crying and sobbing is over, the good or fun begins. First and foremost you discuss what “jerks” (the term strictly being used for guys who broke a girl’s heart for their selfish reason with no sensitivity in the way they handled it!) guys are, draw similarities between all the known break-up stories in your circle and all that data leads to detailed psychological analyses of the masculine gender.( I can assure you if the jerk in question had access to the research report, he would take the first elevator to the highest skyscraper in the locality to jump off it!)
Food is an essential part of nursing a heart break. (Refer to any of the chick flicks and you’ll remember the numerous heroines you would have seen digging into tubs of ice-cream.) Now is your turn to stuff yourself of all the available calories, guilt-free for a change. And guess what, break-up food is not just anything but the yummiest of desserts. So you fill yourself up of the best available pastries and cupcakes and chocolates and what have you and blame it all on that “jerk” you’re celebrating. (Huh! I said it! Why else would you have desserts?)
Another elemental episode of a break up is the spring cleaning. I’m sure that’s not the desirable word but what else is it when you get rid of all the photos, cards, gifts, mementos or the great throwing act as I call it. I love the drama associated with it and certainly feel that half of the fun has got diminished with the e-age and the delete button. The whole over reaction and dramatic tearing up of the letters, etc was way more therapeutic!
Anyway, to get back to the story. Now that you have reunited with your friends, had conversations to your heart’s content, enjoyed all the delicious desserts, freed your room of a whole lot of clutter, what is the next best thing a girl likes to indulge in? Retail therapy! So there you go. Gain friends, eat, shop, straighten out the mess … is it all that bad?

On that note, enjoy your heartbreak but don’t go around  breaking hearts! ;-)