I don't know!

Blogging after ages!

Why didn't I for so long?

I don't know!

Why am I, now?

I don't know!

Funny how negativity settles down in our lives in such a way that negativity itself takes one over. Anything that is repeated many times over becomes the truth ... an old saying. I've heard this before and seriously wondered how can that be possible? But now, when I see my life, I feel as if the saying was meant for me.

A soft skill trainer by profession, my job is to motivate people. I do it so naturally! Trainees swear by me because of the way I manage to make every problem in their lives look so simple! In the training room, when I talk about all the positive things that exist, I see the amazement in people's eyes. I then question myself, who is the real me?

You know what, I don't know!

Always beleived in the saying,"Don't go the way life takes you. Take life the way you go." I know we were born to live and not living because we were born. But will I ever be able to implement this in reality?

I don't know!

Haven't gone to work today. Thought I'll spend some time with myself. Sat with a pen and paper and decided to challenge myself with all the questions on my mind. I did. I was surprised to find that I can't answer my own questions! Am I really so weak? Then who is this person who gets into me when I'm out there in the world motivating everyone possible?

Funny, but I don't know!

The irony is, I like to believe that I'm not a loser. I want to take control over myself. I want to live life as per my terms. The desire kills me. However, every time I want to look for an answer within myself, those three words creep up from somewhere. How I want to fight it! I want those three words to become invisible! I want to live life to the fullest. Will I ever be able to?

I don't know!